Junior laughed so hard he rolled right off the bed.

“Are you all right, Junior?”

I breathed a sigh of relief as I saw his smiling face pop up above the bed. He crossed his arms on the edge of the bed and rested his chin on his arms. “Mom, that was awesome. You zapped the Prez then zapped his hot little minx.”

“Junior, promise me you will never say a word about this to anyone. Even Sara?”

“I’ll think about it.”

“Junior!”

“Is what Sara said true?”

“What’d she say?”

“That you were going to let me fuck her in the T.V.”

“You wouldn’t be fucking her and you know it.”

“I know. But it does seem weird. Is it true?”

“I said I would think about it.”

Junior smiled, walked around the bed and embraced me. “Thanks Mom.”

“I didn’t say yes. I said I’ll think about it.”

“Oh you will. You’re a practical woman and letting us have sex vicariously with this…this thingamabob is much safer than getting blowjobs from crack whores or getting some underage chick drunk to get laid”

Crack whores, underage chicks? What the fuck has Junior been up to? “Junior. Have you ever been with a crack whore?”

All of a sudden, he found something interesting on the ceiling.

“Junior! Look at me.”

Finally he looked.

“What do you know about crack whores?”

“That you can get anything you want for five bucks. A blow job, a piece of ass, anything. As long as it gets them their next vial of crack.”

“Have you been with a crack whore?”

“No.”

“Then how do know all this?”

He started looking everywhere, but at me. “I’ve heard it around.”

“You heard it from your father, didn’t you?”

Junior looked down. “Yes.”

“Has he been to a crack house?”

“I wouldn’t know. He just said it was the cheapest and easiest sex around. Are you going to let Dad use the thingamajig?”

I frowned deeply. “Why, would I do that?”

“Because he knows about it. He could cause trouble if you don’t accommodate him.”

“Okay, Let me worry about him. In the meantime, you and Sara can use the doohickey twice a week, preferably not at the same time. However, if I find out you ever breathed a word about what I did to the President and Heather, I will deny it vehemently and you will be cut off. Is that clear?”

Junior bleated, “Mo-o-m. Not even Jimmy? And only twice a week?”

I wagged a threatening finger at him. “No one. Not even your priest. And if you get straight A’s I’ll make it three times a week. ”

“I don’t have a priest and neither do you. Does that mean Sara gets to use it three times a week?”

“My question was, is that clear? As for Sara, does she have straight A’s?”

“Yes Mom. I don’t like it, but it’s clear. Sara always gets straight A’s and it makes me sick.”

“Then she gets to use the whatchamacallit, three times a week. Like you will when you get straight A’s.”

“Screw it.” Junior rose and left, slamming the door behind him.